



“Wild Poppies, Near Argenteuil” (1873)
________
for Pat
a dear friend passed away recently,
Pat, the mother of my partner, who
passed away himself nearly 30 years
ago, was already of a certain age at
which death follows closely tripping
us up with itches and cramps and
dire debilities as we walk along the
winding road that isn’t that long any
longer
she’d already acquired Alzheimer’s
though she read still, understood,
even poetry, though she could not
remember what had happened
yesterday even, however traumatic,
that she’d fallen the day before, for
instance, and bore still corroborative
angry scratches escaped her, left
her puzzled, though never rattled,
ever compliant
you can forget all you want, Pat, I’d
said to her earlier in her prognosis,
but don’t ever forget I love you
since, during our regular Internet
encounters, along with her husband
on her end, she’s left the conversation
to him, but wraps her arms around
herself and tells me she wants to hug
me, we always end our visit with I love
you’s
when I went to visit her in hospital,
where she’d ended up following more
falls, which indicated eventually dire
complications, I brought her a teddy
bear
here, Pat, I said, I can’t be here always
to hug you, but you can think of me
when you hug this bear
she died a few days later, the last
words we said were, I love you, I
love you, before I flew back home
to Vancouver from Victoria
I was sad, I lit candles, then a day
later I thought, how do I get out from
under this somber cloud, I should
listen for her, I remembered
talk to me, Pat, I’ll hear, I entreated
when my dad died, I’d said, talk to
me, Dad, I’m your son, I’ll hear, and
I did
when his sister died, a beloved aunt,
I’d lit a scented candle inadvertently
in commemoration, when the air
suddenly filled with the aroma of
rosemary, which had wafted in on the
exhalations of the candle to fuse with
my own reveries in epiphanic, verily
transcendental, conversation
adagios, also, always remind me of
John, Pat’s son
talk to me, Pat, say something, I
said to the ether, and listened
last Thursday, at the service, turning
to the last page of the programme
which had been provided, I began to
read her favourite poem
I wandered lonely as a cloud, I read
but couldn’t make it through the next
line, tears welling up in my eyes, my
mom, who was with me, holding my
hand
thank you, Pat, I said, overcome with
emotion, this poem would be her
teddy bear to me
Richard
________________
I wander’d lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o’er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host of golden daffodils,
Beside the lake, beneath the trees
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.
Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretch’d in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.
The waves beside them danced, but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee: –
A poet could not but be gay
In such a jocund company!
I gazed – and gazed – but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought.
For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills
And dances with the daffodils.
several years ago when an angel I knew passed away
I read at his commemoration something I had written
for him, adagios, I said, always remind me of John
only a few days later, after I’d spoken, an adagio in
the distance was weaving its magic spell as I
abstractedly washed perennial dishes, a pivotal
spot, it would appear, for me, in my mystic
wanderings, my spiritual peregrinations
gradually I recognized the presence I’d apparently
inadvertently evoked with my unsuspecting but
thoughtful and caring script, opening a key, like
Ali Baba, it would transpire, to the very undiluted
infinite, something I’d wished for from my dad,
who’d died just a few months earlier, promising
me he’d speak to me if he could, though by then
I hadn’t yet heard from him
later when I was browsing for music to get into
to while away my pensive hours I happened upon
some Shostakovich in a nearby record store, I’d
recently been exploring his stuff, having reached
forward from the Romantics and even the
Impressionists, and looked to a relatively more
recent touch, the early Twentieth Century
which is to say the atonalists, Schoenberg, Berg,
Stravinsky and so forth, of which Shostakovich,
I would argue, has proven to be the most
significant voice, his music being that of a
desperate, nearly broken people enduring
the atrocities under Stalin
he is the most important composer of the
Twentieth Century, I think, along with Olivier
Messiaen, who survived a German prisoner of
war camp, two tough, even heroic, spirits
and here were not one, not two, not even three,
but six adagios in his 15th String Quartet, when
anything faster was too much for me to bear,
otherwise it would have to have been silence,
I was elated
I was not let down, Shostakovich’s 15th String
Quartet, opus 144, is a masterpiece, and helped
me through my rigorous Calvary with compassion,
grace, and ultimately golden hope, to health and
resignation
it is not an easy piece, you might find it
overwhelming, but it is the last word in adagios,
and for me it means the world, I couldn’t leave
it out
I found the distribution awkward however, I
haven’t found the quartet complete anywhere
on the Internet, you’ll have to access the movements
separately, pee breaks are therefore allowed, there
are six movements, not usual but we’ve seen
Beethoven do five already for his Sixth Symphony,
so not entirely unexpected
the first movement, Elegy (Adagio), is played by the
Rubio Quartet, but with only an image of war torn
Leningrad to inspire visually
the second, Serenade (Adagio), by the Borodin String
Quartet, perhaps Shostakovich’s best interpreters, are
also presented visuals inert
the third, fourth, and fifth – Intermezzo (Adagio),
Nocturne (Adagio), and Funeral March (Adagio molto) –
in that order, are played live by the Shostakovich
Quartet, named of course in the composer’s honour
and the sixth, Epilogue (Adagio), again by the Borodin
may you be granted the poise and profound grace
of the adagio
Richard