Brice Maiurro/John Donne on bugs
by richibi
1.
as i watched
this fly
land on the beer
on my dresser
he clasped his hands
together
this fly
prays more than
i do
2.
he swarms
around my head
and near my ears
as my blood boils
and i think about
murder
he just wants
attention
he just wants
to be seen
and heard
and loved
3.
how come
i never
encounter a fly
when other people
are around?
4.
this fly moves
in a severely unorthodox way
zig-zagging
and writing through the
stale air
either he governs
his own motion
or something else does
he lands
just to take off again
he goes
to the same place
twice
there is a method
to his madness
i don’t know what
what keeps him
doing the
same quaint thing
over
and again?
5.
if i swat at him
recklessly
i will never kill him
i have to watch him
i have to understand him
at least a little
if i want to absolve him
of his horrid fly life
(is it horrid?
i can’t fly.)
he grows to trust me
it feels like:
he lands on my bed
then the fabric
of my pajamas
then my knee
then my bare chest
6.
after i killed him
i lifted my pillow
where i found him dead
i picked up his lifeless corpse
and his legs moved
pain
i euthanized him
from the suffering i began
and set him outside
of my window
i’m not cut out for this
life is so big
and i’m flying desperately
in chaotic patterns
landing in the same spot
over and again
How little that which thou deniest me is ;
It suck’d me first, and now sucks thee,
And in this flea our two bloods mingled be.
Thou know’st that this cannot be said
A sin, nor shame, nor loss of maidenhead ;
Yet this enjoys before it woo,
And pamper’d swells with one blood made of two ;
And this, alas ! is more than we would do.
O stay, three lives in one flea spare,
Where we almost, yea, more than married are.
This flea is you and I, and this
Our marriage bed, and marriage temple is.
Though parents grudge, and you, we’re met,
And cloister’d in these living walls of jet.
Though use make you apt to kill me,
Let not to that self-murder added be,
And sacrilege, three sins in killing three.
Cruel and sudden, hast thou since
Purpled thy nail in blood of innocence?
Wherein could this flea guilty be,
Except in that drop which it suck’d from thee?
Yet thou triumph’st, and say’st that thou
Find’st not thyself nor me the weaker now.
‘Tis true ; then learn how false fears be ;
Just so much honour, when thou yield’st to me,
Will waste, as this flea’s death took life from thee